Dear Editor,

Congratulations to Rev. Dr. R. Milton Winters. The man has a terrific deadpan delivery and a real genius for satire. I had to wipe the coffee from my screen after reading lines like these:

"Almost as with the secret handshakes of a lodge, evangelicals are able to identify fellow travelers..." (p.6)

"At times, neo-fundamentalist evangelicals in the [PC(USA)] have attempted to defend traditional beliefs by applying them in ways that are more exclusive than has ever been the practice previously... One example is the Confessing Movement's affirmation that Jesus Christ is "alone" Lord of all and savior of the world." (pp.17-18)

"...congregations that are most likely to embrace technology, such as elaborate sound amplification and recorded music in worship, are also likely to stress most strenuously a received 'orthodoxy' from the pulpit, and vice versa." (p.20)

"Evangelicals must assume some responsibility for their strident language, for no other group in the church has resorted to such." (p.26)

Hold on a minute. Whooo. I have to climb back into my chair. Ah, there we go. Be honest: is that not the funniest thing you've ever read in an official denominational publication?

No?

What do you mean? Of COURSE it's supposed to be funny. I mean, read it again! I admit, it's a little dry. But c'mon - if he were serious about this, is would come off as a profound insult to an enormous swath of Presbyterians. This was published by the Office of the General Assembly! They wouldn't do something like that.

Would they?

Oh, dear...